Some time ago

a dream came to me

softly at first than rushing in as a scream on adrenaline

my fight or flight hormones raging

sometimes life is soft as a dream

easy to love and full of happiness

when everyone comes together for the greater good

other time my reality is shattered on the whim of terrorizing

energy vampires that suck the life out of my being

scraping whats left of my sanity from my skull

with their razor sharp words

amended moments of time

I find my way off grid and sink into sin

shallow and wasted yet not gone

a vessel of human life

a trace of what I use to dream

a glimpse of all that could have been

then they find me

in all my glory as I started picking up the pieces

they grab them from me

throwing them to the wind

I hope they will reseed as they grow

as they grew in my womb

into the chaos i call home

These mad moments in time

where anything sets  her off

I simplify

and clean

and hope for the best

that they continue to grow

Some time ago

a dream came to me

softly at first than rushing in as a scream on adrenaline

my fight or flight hormones raging

sometimes life is soft as a dream

easy to love and full of happiness

when everyone comes together for the greater good

other time my reality is shattered on the whim of terrorizing

energy vampires that suck the life out of my being

scraping whats left of my sanity from my skull

with their razor sharp words

amended moments of time

I find my way off grid and sink into sin

shallow and wasted yet not gone

a vessel of human life

a trace of what I use to dream

a glimpse of all that could have been

then they find me

in all my glory as I started picking up the pieces

they grab them from me

throwing them to the wind

I hope they will reseed as they grow

as they grew in my womb

into the chaos i call home

These mad moments in time

where anything sets  her off

I simplify

and clean

and hope for the best

that they continue to grow

the secret/35/ soul love saga

The secret
walking against the moons light; a shadow following behind me, my pace quickens.

My breath is deeper, faster in the cool air. The darkness is on one side of everything with silver iridescent light cast on the other. Simple objects bearing resemblance to mythical creatures, but I stay focused. My weight landing on my toes first than as I feel the ground under me I carefully place my foot down. I’m making little noise as I run through the forest crushing the leaves with every step. The time doesn’t matter had I known prior to this I would have been prepared. I have looked everywhere and can’t find them. She is close behind and can’t hear them. Nothing.

My words are gone, nowhere to be found. It is like the vital life force has been taken from me. My connection to the divine has been disconnected and lost forever. Even the beginning of the story is just out of my reach. She is just a few steps behind me and I can hear her thoughts she is so close, I can almost taste for her existence. The object of my desires is in her hands. She carries the truth on her back like a small child wrapped safely in case of emergency. The only emergency is the lack of words.

I spot his brown eyes watching me run, her brother who knows why. Why there are so many obstacles between me and the gates to all that I have ever wanted. He can’t contain his laughter in his Timeless way his face lights up when I know he is there.

"Are they in the seeds that you have sown?" she asks, though she knows I didn’t plant a garden this year the first year in a while. I spent so much time just watering all my potted plants because there was so little rain.

‘Did you leave them at school?" She giggles. No, no I’ve been online and see all the formulated regulations with no time to play. Official rules out my opinions and self all in the name of the game to pass a class. No, No, No my words have found no social justice the compliance of regulation that encompasses the homework. My motive has been removed with my prose and rules.

"What about lunch at noon, did you cook and eat them? " Zoe said as she was looking. The gypsy reminded me that it was getting late. I spend most of my time preparing food, serving and eating. My words use to boil over. I could catch them from my mind and put them on paper and they would just stay there, right where I left them. They didn’t stay though, I went to put them there and they were gone. I had missed my chance.

I was so busy. They came and left before I realized. I only had so much time before they were gone. I was trying too hard to make the words appear on the page. The connection was lost through technology. The process of development is over shadowed by the distribution the inertia becomes dissolved.

"What if you just typed? Then could you find them?" Mr. Timeless said to me. I could just start typing if only that voice were loud and clear. I stopped listening so long ago, so it stopped talking with no one listening. He bends down and picks a purple flower and smells it. He tucks this sweet intoxicating lavender behind my ear.

"How do you wake up that voice that helps you to create?" I have been so busy for so long, I just realized I lost it. Would I ever find it?’

"It’s all in you Mom" I just have to make time.

wild woman/35/soul love sagA

Wild woman

I have felt my wild woman

in the midst of transition

a mother bear guiding

her cubs

from danger

I have felt my wild woman

as a drum through the night

by the fire

as I dance by the hot flames

rythm beats a vibration

within my body

I have felt her urge

to stay on my path

of enlightenment

to empower

my waken moments

to do what needs

to be done

for me

my family

and the world

I have felt my wild woman

inside me as I lose time

inside the midst of creation

and the transition into motherhood

I see her in my art

in my art

I see my soul

in my soul is her

shadow left his soul/32/soul love saga

The shadow left his soul
As the streets fell to shame

behind him
Different name, different place
It’s all the same story
Where is the shame in truth.
Different name different place
Star is as fleeting as a moment
Not yet a runaway caught

freedom rain/32/soul love saga

t

r
Freedom Rain u
today is the day that matters e
indecision is the fact
that won't let you sleep at night t
that won't let your dreams go o
that hold you for ransom
until you are true to your soul y
our
soul

today is the day
that the universe will take
you for granted,
will turn your life
into the destined road

that is yours alone to make your path
only then will freedom rain

today is the beginning of life,
of death another cycle, another existence
there is more than one answer,
more than one way
more
than what is happening to you today
more than who you are and what you stand for
whatever it is you’re not alone

you’re not alone in your troubles or beliefs
not alone in your smiles
and grief
you’re not alone in context
and page you’re not alone

inspired by songs of myself/34/soul love saga

Inspired by songs of

myself
For one brief moment
In my timeless existence
I breathe/I feel
so alive
My senses alert to
Each and every cell
A synergy of all my parts makes me
Unique/ whole
Dividing and multiplying
I am the mother of creation
Alive/and breathing
Forever in nature
I assume this position
The one control I maintain in this world
I breathe/
I dance
Feeling my interconnectedness with all living things
I watch the plants and the tree’s responding
To my energy
Thoughts/songs
Dancing in unison the sound of the leaves
Clapping/
Falling
Make me come undone
Feeling free
From the mundane
Cooking and cleaning
I can be one with the divine
Source of my inspiration
I am free of this
Reality/technology
The ocean waves in anticipation
Surrendering to the rise and fall of the moon
I feel the earth breathe in each and every
Cell 　saturated in her womb

whisers faintly/25/soul love saga

The way life is

Changes before my eyes

The world amazes me

Turning below my feet

A power greater than

The difference of you and I

The moon,

So small in the midnight sky

Moves the ocean waves

Where is the power of motivation?

In one’s self

The love of life

Never meant to travel alone

Walking on a highway at 12 past noon

Where am I supposed to

Having no thoughts of time

Each minuet watched is another minuet older

Who is to guide my side?

Lost inside strange happenings

According to society

False beliefs

I go in the direction

Those melodies that lead me

Whispers faintly

Give directions to flow in

pure energy/37 /soullove saga

white walls are

distracting in every way as

energy bounces off of everywhere

energy bouncing off of white walls

distracting me from conversating

past , preasent

and future happinings

all at the same time

auras light reverberating

off of bodies

like a light shining behind them

combining with other

interesting souls

as colours mingle

following each other

nature/34/soul love saga

Nature

' is in guise

-a gesture of reality.

A quiet moment among flowers

Only surpassed – by the rustling

Of the canopies leaves

A treasure tropism guided by Magik

Automatic reflex- igniting mystery

A proboscis unraveled into nectar,

Because of the 　　toes tasting…

In the pachysandra

Tickling wet from dew

Escaping aroma

Sentence

Interrupts my sentiments

　

　

　

'Nature'

　

　

In her purest voice simplicity-spoken words

Through her humble movements- oceans and rivers

Waterfalls and tides

A voice that begins in a whisperer

Crickets-birds- rodents

Growing louder in an enthusiastic roar

Lions-tigers and bears

'Nature'

Is the most unreasonable in

Her earth quaking soul shaking way

Unforgivable tornado plow driven ways

Leveling and over taking

She continues to grow over our decay

Making right of all our wrongs

wasted dreams and hopeless resolution/37/soul love saga

She was left there

in her own

pile of wasted dreams

pushed aside in

her own drama

left with hopeless

resolution

vitalized/26/soul love saga

Vitalized 　　

　　　　　　　　　 I keep　secrets of my shadows
Holding vital pieces of mysteries
Undiscovered

Treasures of joy
Peace within

So much love been hurt
And shamed
My pride will rage
this towns cage
Containing me
Captivates
Alienates
Haters
Hold me back forever
Gotta get out of here
Secrets and stories
Down every street
That I drive
Moments stand still
On the time line
In my mind

My soul will revive
Vitalized
in time
as I grow and learn
what makes me thrive

lay moon down/36/soul love saga

Lay moon down

in a Ocean ritual

barefoot in her nest

medicinal herbs

chant for healing

Lay moon down

rational rain

drops all around

maine and me

falling on the lake

an eterity of circles

let it be

as it ripples

beyond

　

 

lady love /20/soul love saga

Lady love

Which way to go???

I can only hold my own so long

Teach me please

Love in your style

Fun in your smile

Explore, tender

Soft and fresh

Innocence

Sweet breath

Touch my soul

Fill my insides wild

My luck is crazy

Don’t let chance miss you

Believe me babe

Travel erotasy

Higher we go

Lady love

Show me love and grace

Help me find

Soul love

As long as I live

Indian paintbrush/35/soul love sag

my feet don't touch the ground

some days

I still manage to get where I a m going

why indian paint brushes

grow in a carbet of abundance

in one yard and not in another

are we pre sorted

irrational creatures

living on a dream

utilizing natural resources

wasting our lifes away

on things and mediocre situation s

his feet don't touch the ground

a buddah standing tall and proud

　

magik made in love and meals/37/soul love saga

Our river runs through it.

Radio active pollutions.

The compression on my chest

Is as constant as my pulse to live

My heart is suffocating

To its on beat

As loneliness settles in

A fixture that turns on and off at will

Leaking out pharamones

Unable to be kept

Bottled tight

Stranger than these moments

Passing are the simple reflections

Of what life could be

With each quick glance

Shut off valves with conversations

Prime year void of the

Connection between partners

Or desires between lovers

Trace elements of complex

Relationships when eyes meet

Or a hand touches another

Unspoken words

Magic made in love and meals

Up heavel and dismay

I clean to be strong pushing

Through attitudes and misconceptions

And never ending battles

Of obstacles that are life

Just so i can feel the sun

Warm my skin

crystaline reasoning/37/soul love saga

crystaline reasoning

c/0 trinity love

a treason unfolding

in my brain

full of grace

with only a trace

of reality

born and raised

clues in this maze

crops not yet

grazed

crystaline reasoning

new worlds collideing

dimensions unfolding

becoming one

unified movement

a collective conciousness in a world within

worlds

were distress melts away

crystaline reasonin

a seasoning for taste

a flower that saturates the toungue like a prisms

of courage

in the face of a trip between

worlds

where distress melts away

crystaline reasoning

a seasoning for taste

a flavor that saturates

the tongue like prisms

of courage in the face of a trip

between worlds

resourceful cooperation

endind the agonizing

lonileness that dwells

in the recess of the mind

crystaline reasoning is the niche filled with love

reasoning chaos

Burning bridges part 3/ 34/soul love saga

Mona
A year later while I was sitting in a bar with my new girlfriend staring lovingly into each other’s eyes. Mona comes and sits down next to me, plastered and pale. "I just got out of there. I couldn't take it no more. They just kept having all these issues, and crazy love triangles. Everyone that they would meet they would find a way to burn. Archi was getting desperate and possessive. He grabbed me when I tried to leave with my boyfriend. That was it I wasn't going to be his bitch no more. Do you know how much I did for them and didn't get paid neither? I helped them to renovate that whole place and watched that kid of theirs all the time so they could throw their little dinner parties. ... If I had to hear Demi in one of her secret séances again singing opera I was going to puke. Fire man the guy that I was working for did a bunch of work for them taking care of tree's supplying wood for their little potlucks and so they could have heat in their house and he never gave him any money Fire man was doing it for me so that I could stay warm... Ya know he was just so weird to his family to the things that he would and wouldn't let them do he was always changing the rules of the house no one could do anything right. .. "She took a deep breath and sucked down another half of a beer. I looked into my girls eyes and took a deep breath. I hate being the one to enjoy the fact that misery loves company, but it really does.

Portia
After a show downtown I approached a friend of mine that had performed at the Goddess fest last year and hadn't seen since. "Hey lady... how’s it going?"
" It's all right; things have been a little hectic since the last time I saw you." She was taking a giant puppet off of her body and I grabbed a portion of it and eased it down. "You know those folks over at the Art Bridge where you had that festival. I tried to join forces with that Demi and she ended up taking me for a ride. There were some shows that I did over there at their request and they were great only she kept telling me that she was going to send the check in the mail and oops she didn't make it there. I taught a few classes over there and did some advertising for them and they never sent me my money! Now they won't even answer my phone calls. I was going to help them with the kid’s camp that they were doing but she isn't even licensed. Can you believe it?"

Fences
I was helping my new downstairs neighbor Matt put up a dog run and we were talking about getting a fence for the yard for the dogs. They were way out of our price range but would benefit both of us greatly. "I wonder if Bradley could get me some more fencing. I did a job for these people in the hills and they never paid me. Bradley went up there and just grabbed some of their fencing. OF course he did a lot of work for them and didn't get paid. "
"Was that the people at the Art Bridge?"
"Yep, Bradley used to go up there to the functions he said it was fun. But he stopped going once he discovered that they were just using him and all these plans that they were making was just stringing him along. They were always crying poor. "I told him my story
"I always wondered what it was that they were up too. Was it drugs, sex, some kind of cult project?"
"Did you ever find out what that little girls necklace was made out of?"
"NO"


Other words
I was meeting my mom's friend Hilldigarde for the first time at a craft show and her name came up, she was going to do a 'thing' with her. "I told her that I would not be interested in that 'thing' then."
I must have gotten her attention because her face contorted and her silver hair got swiped out of her face." Why?"
"Do you know her well?"
"No I can’t say as I do"
"Well, I just wouldn't be interested in doin anything that involves her is what I was saying? I have had issue's with that family and it’s not good."
"Oh my, she isn't with her husband anymore?>>> would that make a difference?"
"Can't say that it would matter much. They are really shady. I know that they have burned a lot of bridges in this community; well they lost that place that they had too. It is for sale now. "
Sounded like karma was finally taking a hold of their lives.

Music Mama
Two years later... I am on the phone with my kid’s best friends Mama. Just talking round about the town and I discovered that she knew the fire man. "I do too."
"Where do you know him from.?."
"I met him at a potluck from the Art Bridge."
"No way, what was your experience like with them."
"OOOH my god! They are fruit cakes! ... I went to this potluck and had a blast.. Met a bunch of people there , and the next event was on Mountains Birthday well I figured let’s do something together... So I talked to demi and told her my plan, I thought maybe I could barter and volunteer it would be fun. Then she asked if I could bring a wheat free cake. None of the kids I was going to invite would like that kind of cake it was so weird that she would tell that to me. Then she wanted to charge me on top of this, so I gave her some money. The day of the event we get there and I brought all kinds of food and treats that everyone who was there ate including her and her family.. I sang and performed for a set and then I was cleaning up because it was late and the kids were getting restless. She comes over telling me that I needed to clean up. I was like omg, I had already cleared all of our stuff away and she was bugging out on me I was so aggravated. I just couldn't connect with her , it was such an odd scenario...'
"I know..." Then I told her my story..
"Wow..."
"We aren't the only ones, I will never participate in anything that they are involved with.. They have burned way too many bridge's..."
"Did you know that Fire man wants to buy that property? He will run it like it was meant to be utilized. He is such a good guy. "

Halloween Night gathering
my family was watching Jay spin poi. He was another hotty with dirty blond hair and a stocky round little manly body. He was an artist, He could twist wire that would make any mineral look like a million and his clothes snugged his body in the most interesting way as the heat from the balls of fire he was holding made him glisten with sweat. He had like three different toys that he danced with. Rolling balls of fire around him filled the area around us. With a streaming light I desperately wanted to capture this on film. I looked around like the air would help me find my camera and there was Mona. She was softer like her edge's had warn, she was petite but rounded from the last time I saw her.
"Mona, wow you look great."
"Yeah, hey I don't live there anymore" she said in an automatic guilty response sort of way.
" I know I ran into you at the zoo bar and we talked for a while. How have you been?"
"I have been alright; I got outta there that summer. Got married last year, chilled out. That place was crazy. I'm so sorry for everybody that got involved with that place. They burned everyone who ever walked through those doors. They have themselves totally convinced themselves that they never hurt anyone before." I was relieved in a way to hear that. Years of this weight kind of lifted off of me. I had worried about her being so young caught up with these weird people. Who knew what kinds of things she had been through if she lived there with them and hadn't really been a willing participant in burning bridges? I have been known to be gullible at times but I wasn't the only one who had had issues with them. "Ya know that they lost that place and the last time I saw her she was with her mentor from Berkley, the old guy she had known since she was two she said. I was so grossed out.

　

burning bridges/33/soul love saga

Potluck

it was so cold out you could see the vapor from your breath drop in little ice cubes to the ground every time you exhaled. I found my way down the long winding road in the dark. My car careful not to slip off this mountain way to fast, hoping my every move was just right. Cars were parked all along the driveway and down the line of evergreens. There was a car from New York and Connecticut.


I made my best vegetarian lasagna to share with my new found friends. This was really the kind of crowed that I needed to surround myself with. Nestled in the middle of the woods these open minded artists. My kids followed my lead as we tried to make it on the safe side of the cars instead of the winding road. We stepped carefully on ice until we made it to the safe reprieve of the driveway until we found our way to safety. Outside the warehouse was a fire lit in a round copper fireplace with people surrounding it smoking cigarettes trying to stay warm? Archie smiled at me and came up and asked for his donation and pointed me into the facility stating "There were a lot of people inside plenty of tables and one full of food. The show will start at 8:00 make you comfy. The kids are welcome to play there is a treasure chest of toys and dress up clothes. "

"Thanks, it's bitter out here"

"Ah yes but the stars are out and bright tonight, my dear." He told me his face was red from the flame and his eyes were glazed from sentiment or something else maybe.
We walked in and there was at least 50 people inside it was warm and the lighting was illuminating. Azaria's family was there and instantly put my children at ease. They played whole heartedly in the big room while I gathered food for their plates. There was enough food for an army all placed in nice serving pottery dishes, a great selection of wine. We sat down and got ready for the show eating from this super amazing mix of food.


Demimondaine got up in the middle of everyone and started introducing the players of the night. A published poet rolled his wheel chair into the mix and read one of his poems challenging society to open their hearts to obstacles of biodiversity. Mystical music played from the dark skinned man I saw my first day here. The boy rolled off and selected music began with hard gypsy beats and the wailing of an ancient music. Azaria came in dancing with covered completely by scarves in blue. She wore a shimmery indigo costume and danced around the audience swaying and shimming to the beat. She smiled her best smile when a few drunkards started hooting and hollering she moved away from them.

Azaria danced her way to the puppet theater where Demi was hiding to become the puppet master. She held her puppets high and performed the most bizarre puppet show. Before I know it she is screeching and hysterical in some puppet performance dedicated to the goddess of the dancer. Ok.
Other girls come out and dance and she slowly fades into the background. One girl came and did a very Goth belly dance with heavy makeup and then there was a cane dances overall there were at least 10 dancers from all over. I was mesmerized.


The poet boy got up and spoke a good poem. Demi got up and announced different classes taking place and then everyone started dancing. Wow. Then Mona came through dressed clad in leather showing all her curves she announced she would be doing poi. We all followed her outside and watched her surround herself with fire. Spinning all ways around she was hot and so sexy the way she spun she made evolution gain momentum. What a great place to be.

Goddess Rock Fest.
After the next class I asked Archi if I could hold the second annual Goddess rock fest here. He thought that would be a great idea. I just needed him to find out about insurance. We had sat down on the couch together reasoning about the event since it was a fund raiser for tree's we wanted to keep the costs down. He told me that he would let me use the facilities inside and out for the event for a hundred dollars.

The spring found its way upon us I went about my business of trying to get the Goddess rock fest up and running for June. I had fourteen musicians and 7 acts including dancers and the fire goddess Mona.


The fliers were ready to print and I still couldn't really get the answers that I was looking for out of Archi. He just kept telling me it would be fine. I had gotten my grant of a thousand dollars, which doesn't sound like a lot of money to do a festival but it is manageable. Over a thousand fliers were posted we had every performer and vendor advertise through their fan mail. A week before the show I had scheduled a meeting at the Art Bridge and went to talk to Archi and Demi about the event.


I knocked on the door and Mona answered. She had been staying there. She told me I would have to wait Archi was getting a treatment of some sort Demi was singing Oprah from behind the door. Meanwhile I looked around the kitchen it was small but nice, a lot of wood work. The center island was covered in these Mexican looking tiles. Mona offered me some tea

. "How’s it going?" I asked her. She started testifying her story to me. "I had gotten my car taken away because of drinking and driving. I was at a party and some boys started hassling me and I didn't want to be raped or something if passed out there so I drove off and got stopped by the police. I’m regretting it now that s I had a few more months and I had been stuck up there for half the winter. So I had only got away when I was working or when Tommy could take her away. A half hour late he stumbles out of the back room and pours himself a coffee. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"We set a meeting so we could go over all the fine details."

"Oh" he says. So we set out the door and he informed me that no one would be allowed in the main hall because the insurance wouldn't let anyone be in there. Then he said that he order a port-a- potty and that would cost me an extra $500.00"

"I wasn't prepared for that. Why didn't you tell me? This is why I had asked you in the beginning what it would cost so I could be prepared. I sunk all my cash into advertising. "

"Oh well, you can give it to me later. These are just extra costs that sometimes get in the way" and he scurried down the sidewalk.


We discussed parking and where it would be. I wanted the vendors blocking the house and I didn't want the swing in action. We decided that the stage would be great up against the building up front. Where people would be enticed in from the road knowing that there is an.
Friday before the show I went to drop off a carload of stuff, I started unloading. The kids got out and started to play with the little girl. She was at least nine years old with a baby bottle hanging out of her mouth. Her front teeth were rotted down to stumps. My daughter Giai went to grab her necklace so she could get a better look at it and she started crying. "No one can look at it is mine it is a secret no one can see it. "A big sniffle and scared eyes tears started running down her face.

"I'm sorry I didn't know" Giai said

Archi came running up to me after I was done unloading and had called the kids back into the car. "I hope that you lit a white candle and pray to your goddesses because the insurance fell through." My jaw dropped "How could the insurance fall through? You were supposed to have it set back in January?"


He started mumbling something about parking and then scurried off. I was left with no choice. I could only do the festival here and hope no one got hurt. So when I got home I let my white candle and prayed to the Goddesses.


I called Azaria when I got home to check on her. I hadn't seen her in a month or so because everything just got so hectic; being the coordinator for the festival there was a lot to do.
" I don't know, Ixchelle, if I can be there or not. My daughter has her sixth grade graduation. Ya know I haven't really been there since the last time I danced. I was made to feel really uncomfortable, the cat calls got worse the next potluck and Archi was in the lead. When I talked to Demi about not serving alcohol she got all weird on me. I have to protect myself and my girls. I won't dance there anymore. All winter long, there was no heat. I was paying money every time I went there and volunteering at the potlucks and they wouldn't even share the costs on advertise or lower the price for studio space for the advertising that I did. My friend John that you met there at the potluck, he was interning there this winter. He has four kids and was doing all this free work for them. He set up this website for them and one potluck a bunch of people including a reporter were standing around talking about the progression of this dream coming into light. The web site came up and Archi took all the credit and when John went to say something and he got belittled to no end. So John told him he could take the work he did and never looked back, I was there it was horrible. I knew how hard he had worked on it."
" Hey... do you know what the deal with the little girl’s necklace is? Giai went to touch it and the little girl freaked out she got really scared."

"New, it's probably some kind of black magik talisman."

"I am getting so nervous, things are really getting weird."

"I am sorry, I wish I knew what to say'
Day of the fest... I got there early. Archi comes out all scatter brained. "I haven't slept for a few weeks trying to make it through to the moon. My back hurts; I just don't know how we are going to make it through. The old lady who had given us funding before said that she would give us another allotment because she believed in what we are doing but it hasn't come through yet and our electricity is going to get shut off. "
Ok. So I went about my business and he changed the parking so it would be on the side in the back and put the stage on the backside road where no one could see it. Then he moved the vendors to the back where no one could see them either. When Dazed and Confused went to hang up their sign he went over and started yelling at them." You have to take it down now!! I don't want people driving by thinking that I am getting high< You have to take it down now!" It was all I could do to keep them here for a day. My fortune teller got there unpacked her stuff than packed it back up again and said that she had a bad feeling about this and went home.
The festival started, the music was great. No one was really coming; hardly anyone except Demi's and Archie’s friends who got in for free and my volunteers and it was small less than a hundred people. Demi thought that she would be nice and let the kids play with the wooden tree swing. Then my son, Soul came running up to me. With blood flowing down the middle of his forehead, he had gotten hit by the swing right in the middle one more inch below and it would have broken his nose. It was a bad hit he was defiantly going to have two black eyes.
Everything was going on, great music played throughout the day, the numbers stayed low though and I was getting concerned. Not only that, but Archi must have passed out because he was gone for the day. People wandered in and out and all around. The Henna lady packed up and went home because there wasn't enough business to keep her happy.
My friends played my favorite tune together "Broke down palace" in perfect harmony. It was the highlight of the day for me. They had a perfectly painted life size Jerry in the background. I took my minuet to breath.
"MommyMommyMommy" Soul comes running up to me with his hand over his head blood dripping down his arm covering his neck. Tears on his staining his black and blue eyes. I couldn't tell how bad it was there was so much blood an ambulance had to be called. I had to excuse myself, five more acts to go and the clouds rolled in.
In the Hospital they stapled my son up with seven staples, and gave him a shot in the but. (that would later spawn a nasty staph infection that took the summer to get rid of) and sent us on our way three hours later. According to the schedule one act to go and the day was over. We went back to the venue and the last speaker was going on the wagon from The Stoner band. They had cleaned up when it started to sprinkle. The belly dancer kept everyone preoccupied while they cleaned up the stage. Thankful my little Soul man was alright we hugged and said good night. I watched the vehicle pulling a trailer full of equipment out of the awkward driveway.
Archi comes running out of the house" Do you have my Money?"
"Dude, seriously? I just got out of the hospital and all you can ask is where my money is?"
I went home and tucked my munchkins into bed. Sat in front of my computer and tried to compose a letter. First of all I didn't have $600.00 dollars to pay him I barely had 400. I thought maybe I had a right to sue him, but I really didn't have it in me. I just kept hearing that voice over and over again. Do you have my money? I had just come from the hospital and he didn't even ask how my Soul was. The Mother part of me wanted to retaliate the business part of me wanted to chew him a new hole to dribble his shit out of.
Dear Art Bridge.
With everything all said and done, I have consulted with a lawyer before I wrote this Carefully considering the ethics surrounding this day of the Goddess Rock Fest. Here it goes. I have a case, I could sue and get a decent sum of money, but I won't. I could give you the money you ask for which is five hundred dollars more than what you originally quoted me, but I don't have it. I forgot to pray to my goddesses before the festival. Oops. So I will give you the amount that we had originally agreed on because that is what I have allotted for this festival.
Ixchelle

burning bridges/32/soul love saga

The Burning Bridges

For the love of art and those who burn the Bridges within a community
It would seem like a pretty straight forward title. Though years have passed and I am still trying to unravel the damage that had occurred from this little adventure. I have listened to countless stories of people needing to share with me because I was there. It is never bad enough to get the police involved. What could they do anyway? Here is my story...




Ixchelle

I had painted a picture ' The Dancing Dragon' for a friend of mine who taught Belly dance classes. Symbolically this was to be a trade. Azaria had to shut down her studio but had found a seemingly wonderful place to hold belly dance classes. True to the inspiring description she had given me she thought this would be a great place to put on another Goddess Rock Fest. I pulled up to this place and was astonished. I never knew it existed before, just four miles from town; over a mountain and through the woods.


The driveway was long and well hidden among the rows of pine trees that edged the property. There were four buildings; a big white old New England house. A white warehouse and a studio that set edged against a winding brook that was attached to the Connecticut river down the way. I walked into the warehouse it has large cypress trees on either side of front entrance. The cold air was bitter and the air smelt like ice, wood stove and evergreens.


A few girls were already in the warehouse. Shawna, I recognized from around town. She had tight lips, big blue eyes like a cabbage patch, short hair and a stocky frame. Phoebe was sitting on an overstuffed chair I knew her from the Halfa. She has long golden hair, blue eyes enlarged by her glasses, middle age and round in the belly. She danced as if she were painting one of her goddess paintings with smooth blended appeal and long dark strokes. Diana had a very studious quench for learning. She was in school for message, dance and she worked as a yoga teacher ever after in the pursuit of holistic health. She was flexible with long limber movements using her mind that matters. . Everything she tried she just perfected so gracefully. She wore dark rimmed glasses disguising her Barbie doll face.


We were greeted with cold welcomes of hugs. Still bundled and every breath insured us that our bodies hadn't froze yet. In walks a lady I recognize from the second hand clothes store. She was in there with her daughter, a cute little fair haired pixie girl of about 9. They had caught my eye, they were having fun giggling and laughing throughout the store. She had a fur lined gene jacket that that nearly touched the floor. She looked elegant and secretive that day. Today she walks in draped in scarves and skirts. Her high eyes apologetic slits. ‘Hi I'm Demimondaine, You can call me Demi."

"Sorry, I turned the heat on early this morning I don't know why it’s not warming up in here. "

"It is soo cold in here I ddon't know how we are going to dance." Azaria said and we all agreed.
Another girl walks in. She had a real tough voice. Dressed in all black her eyes tired from sleep. She is so tiny even with her layers on. "BBBbrrr, I almost slept though class."

"This happened in my class too; my muscles were so soar after yoga" Diana whose long limber legs wore grey and pink leg warmers, scarf, mittens and hat.


Azaria rounded us up Introduced us and said "Let’s get moving." We danced with frozen toes to Egyptian belly dance. She liked choreography as much as tribal so we worked on both moving and swaying to the music. Our shivers turned into shimmies. When the music was over we were carefully getting on our street clothes trying not to expose our skin to the still bitter cold. This was my first impression of the art bridge... cold.
We stood around gathering our things.


"I would like to invite you all to our potluck coming up on Saturday; Azaria is going to be dancing. There will be a puppet show. My husband Archaic will be playing in a band and my teacher from Berkley will be showing his work. You can bring your kids. You could bring your boyfriend, whoever..." It sounded great; I wanted to see what this place had to offer. The potential for some really amazing things to transpire was right here.

"My man would never come out for this kind of thing" Shawna informed us in a grumpy tone.
"There are so many things happening I'm sure he would have a blast, there will be dancers, great food, and music. It will be a lovely night out" Demi said with these pleading eyes.

"I said no!! He wouldn't like to hang out here, neither would I! I just told you that!!! I don't know why you would keep bugging me!" Her voice was loud and it was hard to understand where the venom was coming from. With her face all scrunched up she pulled on her shoe and stood up in Demi's face " And further more I don't appreciate you bullying me trying to get me to bring my man here so he could watch other girls, I will never come back here for anything!" With that she spun on her heal and went out the door, leaving a trail of breath behind her that froze into little shimmering snowflakes and fell to the ground with a swirl.

"Oh my, I didn't mean to offend her." Her shoulders down turned. We were all shocked and kind of made small talk. Phoebe and Diana left the warehouse to get warm in their car. Two men walked in two shades of color, staring at our last moment of the morning. "Hi, what was that all about?" the white man with the small glasses asked


"Archie, my goodness I have no idea. I invited her to the potluck and that made her really mad." Demi said in a small babyish voice. She introduced us to the men and continued with herself. "This is my husband Archie and Tommy."


"Demi, I want you to find another place to put your stuff so that the window to the office isn't blocked up." Archie said as he walked down the hall and tore her display of Native American beaded necklaces and earrings out of the window to his office. I thought that they looked nice behind the glass when you first walked in. He handed them to her and told her to find someplace else to put them where they wouldn't be in the way.

timeless expression/32/soul love saga

A Timeless Expression

I

Brown eyes, large brown eyes

Depending on me. Searching for

my soul. Answers in this Timeless

expression

ii

Sleeping like an angel, I crawl

Under the covers of the morning light

Curled in a fetal positions

One Timeless expression

iii

A tornado winding through my house

Knocking a mass of stuff all-over

Layers deep

iV

Upside down in a cupboard

Under a table, what is going on?

Sassy, wild energy

V

Racing through these rooms with abundance

Of energy

Bouncing through these walls

Echoing voice’s-screams

& laughter in his silent world

Broke down in rage

A timeless transition

VI

A song breaks the silence

I see his soul shine

In his mystical Lyric

Beyond the memories

Of escalated Timeless behavior

Vii

A spirit rising

Timeless expression

*A Timeless

Timeless Expressions Brown eyes, large brown eyes

Depending on me. Searching for

my soul. Answers in this Timeless

expression

ii

Sleeping like an angel, I crawl

Under the covers of the morning light

Curled in a fetal positions

One Timeless expression

iii

A tornado winding through my house

Knocking a mass of stuff all-over

Layers deep

iV

Upside down in a cupboard

Under a table, what is going on?

Sassy, wild energy

V

Racing through these rooms with abundance

Of energy

Bouncing through these walls

Echoing voice’s-screams

& laughter in his silent world

Broke down in rage

A timeless transition

VI

A song breaks the silence

I see his soul shine

In his mystical Lyric

Beyond the memories

Of escalated Timeless behavior

Vii

A spirit rising

Changing – breaking- aching

Growing an unconditional

Rhythm shining indigo

For me this is a more visual piece picture of words. Each stanza breaks up thoughts of my son.