Peace...Vision quest of the Wise Womyn
?I have poison ivy crawling up my thighs. Now if I had been able to identify the ivy with a blindfold on I would be so comfy now in all my comforts of home. What is going to happen on the vision quest? Life will be good.
I have been amazed at how much my senses were stretched past these limitations. My body ached, yet I enjoyed hiking up the mountain in the morning taking into consideration how I could feel every muscle in my legs. My breath as it quickened and my mind cleared as it opened waiting to take in a new day.
I went because I heard that it would be an amazing adventure. I needed an adventure. I have felt like I have been living in someone else shoes for a while. Living for other people, not ever really getting to do what I want, only doing what I have to do.
Taking 2twenty four4 hours is a big thing, a really big deal. I moved to Turners falls and it is a little city, I thought that I missed the city. Now I miss hearing my night sounds that make sleeping in the summer enjoyably. I have missed sleeping outside this year and have only been able to do so for a few nights. Though I sneak off to the river as much as possible, we love to be in the middle of the woods..... So I have felt trapped inside a concrete jungle living so far outside my connection with nature, I felt like the ragged fox mama that I scared( by accident of course) out of my garden this summer.
When we first got there I was sitting listening to Runners prayer that helped us to Identify with everything that surrounded I was listening so intently and that dragonfly landed on my hand I felt every leg that rested on my finger. I saw the iridescence in his wings and felt the wind of his flight. I saw its head turn to look at us while he was talking and walking from one side of the circle to the next. It was to be a perfect day. The sun illuminated the situation with us all sitting on the banks edge of a river. Runner and his friend Noah who ran the group took turns talking. Runner stood front and center speaking of what was to come. I could see his aura vibrating on the edge of his being.
" I feel blessed to be among you creative wise souls With a chance to really make a difference in your life. I feel blessed that the weather is beautiful at the end of April and on our journey. I feel blessed to spend our days climbing over these mountains that are coming alive with spring. The green sprouting from every direction I feel blessed for all the animals around us. The birds in the sky and the insects in this ecosystem. I share my blessings with you…"
Our opening exercises were great. I have a hard time with trust. I ended up sharing with Runner about my experience.
"To let go is good to let go and trust six strangers while you fall from feet high to catch you is liberating. Gaining this certain freedom of reckless abandon to have fun outside in a wild frontier with nothing but wild life starting an adventure with a free fall was invigorating.
$finding a skull was a breath taking experience for me as a Bone collector and on this experience we stumbled upon a whole body and this was a clean body whose bones rested as they had since it lay there. A dream catcher that I was working on at home needed that energy a fox .That is the piece my dream catcher needed in order to be. What amazing energy to have the memories of everywhere that creature and I have been. All our lessons learned. A shape shifter, invisible, healthy eater this is a powerful magical totem.
I love going off in our group. Running all over those hills figuring out where we were going. Using only our wits when we second guess ourselves and got lost I felt that wild Womyn whose run with wolves and raised three kids take over and said hell no!!! You aint getting lost in the middle of the woods!!! I found the bag. What a long strange trip it was....The real fun was walking around after dark we were just close enough for me not to be scared and I was just ready enough to enjoy it,. I took my time savoring every step I got scared at the point when I heard the leaves, I coughed to scare anything that could be when Noah did his bird call I was so grateful
By the time we played the blindfold game I was psyched. I wanted to do it. Though I was a bit baffled by how close we were from each other. It left me no room to be scared. Walking in the forest blind folded in the dark walking around.
Than the connection to Gaia opened when we heard the owl. The wise creature that called to us and talk to Noah as if they had known each other all along. Imagine this Stealthy messenger of the gods. When I finally settled in my sleeping bag. I enjoyed sleeping and waking laying on the earsts floor. I found the softest bed of moss I found myself waking and gazing upward imagining the redwoods again. It was so nice to be in the middle of the evergreens it was so peaceful. I heard the cyotes off in the distance and snuggled into my blankets. It was time to reacess my life.
How much can one person take? This is a question that seems to bring on more chaos until I don't dare think to ask that question again. I sit in my "Office" now and I have this much space. I am responsible for those three souls that are sound asleep in the other room. I am truly blessed. I have a car and my health. I just graduated with an Associates of Fine Arts and my Bachelors in Environmental and Holistic Health. I did this while raising some really intensely wild children. I have a job. I am a single mom of three amazingly, spirited indigo children.
Responsibility is a big word for me. It doesn't seem like it was that long ago I was just a kid too. Waiting to grow up but I was a classified ‘a runner’ Someone who loves to run away Now I am officially grown up and there is no turning back, no getting younger, no do overs. I am just living this life that ultimately I choose.
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